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Dear Dudley.....
Could you please stop making me take side routes I really need to get this story finished so I can get it betaed. You and your partner must adhere to some time table because I think my recipient would like their gift this century. No you may not continue to be a pain in my ass over the fact that you have to be nice to the blond git. Also you are not getting anymore sweets after all the blood sweat and tears that went into getting you at least in some form of shape. No partner will not wear the garters, stockings and heels.....okay maybe but only if you behave.

B (The author of one of the most irritating to write but hopefully a joy to read Dudley/? fanfictions)

*This fic is going to be the death of me. Anyone wanna beta it?