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Feelings and thoughts before my birthday.
I feel so old and tired today . My birthday is on Saturday and it makes me miss home. I actually miss my little brother, who I never get to talk to or see. I miss my grandmother who will no doubt crack me up when I call her later. I even miss my dad who I'm not close with but still somehow we understand each other well. My aunt who has a warped sense of humor I miss as well. I miss my grandfather and mother terribly around this time of year and the only thing physical I have of them is a grave marker. I am not very sentimental but at times like this I miss it.

I guess at this time I have to look forward. There is nothing I can do from the past but try to make my life better so in the future I can hopefully help them as well as they have helped me as a person.

My birthday promise to myself is going to be to write a novel in one month during the month of October. I am going to attempt to do the Nanowri? Month in November but since my birthday is in October I figured I get a practice run with a fanfic I idea that has been manifesting in my head and I have been dreaming about. I even got a book to help me get some encouragement to go through with it. I hope I make 50000 words. To be honest I will be happy if I get 30,000.